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My Last Cordial Visit

A wry, sobering visit with old "friends" — Bartles & James, Jack Daniels, Smirnoff, Tia Maria — whose lifelong companionship is quietly costing the narrator his life, right up to one last cordial call before the eulogy.

Cover for: My Last Cordial Visit

My doctor tells me that my old friends are slowly threatening to take away my dear life from me. But my old friends miss me, as much as I miss them. I haven't seen my old friends for a while now.

I really don't know who to visit first right now, should I visit Mr. Bartles and Mr. James? or should I go visit Mr. Daniels and his wife? I haven't seen my old friends for a while.

I go visit Mr. Daniels and his wife, then proceed to visit Mr. Bartles and Mr. James, both are sitting on the wooden porch, gossiping about everyone's business in town.

Then I decide to move down the block and visit Pierre Smirnoof and my girlfriend, Tia Maria. But looks to me that the two are busy now, only whispering sweet nothings to each other.

Their short bodies, long necks and flat bottoms make them look like freaks from a circus show. Despite their odd and bewildering looks, they are still the only friends I treasure from long ago.

They have been there for me, during the good times and carried me through the bad too. Our friendship had always stuck through times; Both thick and thin, good and bad.

They have been friends since way before high school, we have continued our friendship in years after, and continued to make it stronger by getting together and sharing memories and dreams.

I enjoyed my last visit with them, just as much as all the other times I visited them. Now that I am ill, I can't seem to build on my strength and courage as I once did in my younger days.

Farewell, my loyal friends its now time for me to Say good-bye to all the times shared together. They show no emotion, only sharing thoughts of me in the brief words of an eulogy.

Now I prepare for my own final dark destiny, six feet under the earth, in the garden of heaven, with a concrete head and rotted remains reminding them with my last words.

Perhaps, I should go pay my last cordial visit right now.

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